Lately I have been feeling so........discombobulated.
Everything on the surface seems on track: my graduation and my trip to Kenya. (Aside from a couple of things I need to do!) And yet I feel unsettled. I do confess that I have had a bad string of males in my life lately. That can definitely have an effect on my feelings. But I will not be defined by this. The problem seems more complex than that. A future in journalism seems so competitive and I am not the cut throat type.
God has been at the forefront of my thoughts as of late. I am genuinely joyful that He has ransomed my soul. I just feel like I can't give him anything back in return. And I definitely can't. Being stuck in this thought brings me down. Maybe I'm too proud to realize that I having nothing to offer Jesus but my will. That is how it is supposed to be. If I have learned anything from my church-going as of late, I have learned that God knows sorrow and He is holding my yoke up with me. He is such a sweetheart.
I think what really gets me is lately I have been surrounded by the best of friends and circumstances. Chris brought us together tonight for an Angel's game where we got SNUGGIES. Will is back from the navy. Sarah got a massage with me. I caught up with Tarrell on facebook. Nicole and I have been making time for each other.
I think I just need a breather. To stop worrying about my future at every turn of the road. The pressure is building and I need a hole for air. Kind of like the bell jar, but less crazy.
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